While allowing your partner to assist you physically, psychologically, and emotionally is a sign of a good relationship; the situation swiftly deteriorates when you lose sight of your own capacity for support and fight to overcome codependency.
It is essential to transform a codependent relationship, stop undermining your own desires and feeling of self-worth, and get back on an equal footing with your spouse for a love bond to exist and develop. Because the same behaviors that promote connection and closeness may make you feel emotionally trapped in a relationship when they are overdone. At that point, one begins to break the patterns and seek Codependency Counseling in a relationship. If you recognize yourself in any of these codependency patterns, here are a few tips to help you out of it.
Questioning your motives:
It is common in codependency patterns to feel as though you have lost your bearings when making choices for the partnership. Consider whether your goals align with your own or your partner’s goals.
You are more likely to ignore yourself and harbor animosity toward your mate if you frequently put your partner’s needs and goals before your own. Understanding the motivation behind your actions allows you to behave from a position of empowerment rather than reacting to your partner’s perceived emotions.
Learn To Spend Time Alone:
When you rely on others to help you cope with your difficulties and emotions, codependency tendencies start to form. Being alone also helps you build confidence in your ability to care for yourself and your feelings. You need peaceful space and uninterrupted time to understand your emotions. Your connection with yourself is no different from any other relationship; trust develops through time. Allow yourself some time to discover who you are apart from your relationship.
Learn To Make Decisions On Your Own:
You lose your ability to express your needs and wishes when you lose parts of yourself in a relationship. Allow yourself to practice making choices. Allowing yourself to make these choices can help you become more self-aware and confident in speaking out for yourself.
Ask For Assistance And Help:
It is uncommon to hear strong requests for support, even though codependency behaviors frequently appear as an excessive reliance on others. In such relationships, partners are coerced into behaving in a particular manner without consciously expressing their wants or desires. However, it is more motivated by the need to promote the desired objective than by any malice aforethought.
You must get comfortable asking for assistance if you want to escape this codependent, passive communication pattern. Start as simple as you may need, possibly by stating your need for Codependency Counseling.
It could appear that you are being urged to act selfishly and unfairly toward your partner as you attempt to halt the cycle of codependency. But this is far from the truth.
In a non-codependent association, Both parties in a good relationship have fully developed selves apart from their time spent together. They form a partnership that enables both to develop and flourish since each brings unique qualities to the table.